Computer Addiction
January 3, 2009 · By Kathee
Computer Addiction
I keep telling myself… that I don’t have a problem, that I’m not really addicted to the net.
The evidence is there. All signs point to it. But I just don’t want to believe it — much less admit to it!
Where else can one go to meet intelligent, interesting and funny people (or at least the 2500 or so that I know). People with faces glued to their monitors (like me!), ignoring all the warnings too! Ignoring their painfully full bladders; swollen tongues — stuck to the roof of their parched mouths; their aching, dry bloodshot eyes, and perpetually numb butts! All patiently enduring it all until their desires have been satisfied by typing away at breakneck speeds for hours on end!
Where else can you go to find total anonymity … where one can cyberflirt eternally, say things one would not EVER consider in real life and all without the restraints (or guilt) associated with the real world?
My gosh, this IS the place where our imaginations BECOME our real world! We’re ALL perfect … I see them :::us::: all very clearly each time I write:
The men, with their broad to-die-for shoulders, rippling abs, bulging bi and triceps, tight little buns, and their oh so silky soft chest hair!
The women, although I’m not envious in the slightest, are pampering their size 4 “Bally Total Fitness” bods, with their teeny tiny 22 inch waists, uplifted derrieres and perky little firm-beyond-belief bosoms!
None of us suffer from that which the ordinary in-real-life person does, i.e.., body odor, wrinkles, cellulite. None of us wear glasses, much less bifocals! And of course we don’t have dandruff, hangnails, bunions, or EVER suffer from dare I say it … flatulence!
:::Picture This:::
I’ve just gotten off of work. It’s 3 o’clock. I’ve already vowed not to sign online until after 9 p.m. I impatiently pace back and forth in front of my computer desk. Yes, the heart’s ‘a racing again!
The kids are not home from school yet, my heart’s beating hard enough to tip the Richter scale … the anticipation of it all! I know I’ll get more mail today than I’ve EVER gotten in a lifetime. I can just see their names, imagining who I’ve got new mail from. The ecstasy of it all! “You have new mail”, the message says upon signon.
Could it be from my crazy galpal who gets bored every day and plays connect the dots on her keyboard and sends me samples of her artwork, or my Number One e-fan who searches day and night for gold on all my trips to the mine? Maybe it’ll be Etern_0_Flirt, trying once again to make me blush! Or just maybe Mommy Dearest will find time for me — she doesn’t have a cyberproblem either!
I’m in seventh heaven one more time! To overcome this condition of mine, I quickly go lock the front door and pull the blinds. I assure myself (three times real fas-s-s-t) that I am not addicted and can quit A N Y T I M E … I want to! Once absolutely convinced, I happily sign on and click my way through the menus to get to my mail.
After the first hour of weeding through that mail of mine, I must re-log onto my freenet. Drat that one hour time limit! My real surroundings dimmed significantly within the first two minutes.
The kids came home, waited around long enough and finally relented and made their own dinner yet again. I’m oblivious to the heat in the kitchen, not realizing until well after midnight that they’ve left the oven on broil again!
Sheesh, I was so unaware of my surroundings that I thought one of the kids was always in the bathroom since the door was continuously shut for a week straight … but only because the toilet was stopped up! I never even noticed the additional activity in my own bathroom since I can never seem to find the time to visit. I’ve been so pre-occupied with the computer and the business at hand, that I hadn’t noticed the new odor in the house … well geez, it didn’t smell like death so I figured we were all okay. I just assumed …
Well at least I’m home with the family! Doesn’t *THAT* count for something?? I’m doing what’s right by them! I’m here! Yes, I do spend a lot of time on line per day … but thank goodness that there are 24 hours in each day! I am, however, submitting a recommendation that we move to 48 hours per day thus saving having to work for a living down to 6 months per year.
Ahhhhhh! What a life!
Then I could spend even MORE time on line … uh-no, er, gee, I-I could free up the computer for the rest of the family … as any thoughtful, dedicated mother would do!
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