Sinless

I really hate graffiti. It seems to bring out the real intelligence of the taggers, not counting what it brings out in their victims.

In 1994, I had an experience with one of those expressionists.

Of course, I couldn’t have been so lucky as to get the written message located somewhere easy, like my block wall fence or the side of my house. In those types of instances, I could have just as easily removed the artistry by simply painting over it with some leftover paint stored in my garage.

My van was the victim.

It wasn’t just a minor case of some spray paint gone awry … paint wasn’t even used. My graffiti was done by an expert with keys. We’re not talking about just a lonnnnnnnng scratch mark folks! A scratch I could live with …

My case was unique! The tagger actually called me a naughty name. I’m not talking about a teensy weensy scratched in name … the #@&%$@ used foot high lettering that took up half the length of my van!

The sad part was that I had only the minimum amount in insurance at the time, so the cost of repairing the damage was NOT going to be covered under an insurance claim.

Reluctantly, I decided to live with the etched in key job. Of course I can live with it, after all, “sticks and stones may break my bones but NAMES can never hurt me” …BULL! It was EMBARASSING to drive my van anymore, to say the least.

One day I was visiting a local mall. I pulled into the parking space next to a really fancy low riding Chevy. What a beautiful custom paint job the fellow had! As I got out of my van, I observed the Chevy’s passenger eyeing the word that had been etched into my van.

The fellow looked up at me and asked, “Who did that to your car?”

Using my wildest bug-eye expression I sarcasticaly retorted, “If I only KNEW, he’d be eating his words right now. I’ll tell you, it’s a good thing I have a good sense of humor!”

His eyes just widened too and he wisely proceeded to mind his own business.

It is really rough making left hand turns. I pull out into the intersections and I just know that all the traffic to my left is looking at the word and thinking bad thoughts against me because of my side-of-the-van advertising. I’ve even had people laugh and point while waiting at traffic lights. Gee, like I would purposely advertise this word about myself — even if it WAS true!

I finally decided that enough is enough. I was visiting my barber the other day. After he finished with my hair, he walked me outside because he wanted to show off his new gold Vet which he had traded his Harley in exchange for. After looking at his gorgeous car, I was depressed!

Here’s my barber, driving a beautiful vet and then there’s me, driving an ‘85 van, advertising something not so nice on the driver’s side of my car!

My barber takes one look at my van and said, “Geez, Kathee, who did this to your van?”

I wonder why people always ask such a stupid question? What would they do for me if I told them WHO did it? Would they go pay them a visit? Would they track the culprit down and make him PAY???

Well, I gotta hand it to my barber! He’s really a neat guy. He gave me some suggestions on how to make it liveable for just a couple of bucks worth of investment and a little elbow grease. Even I can afford that!

The next day, I went to Checker Auto Parts and purchased the sandpaper and primer. (Duh, why didn’t I think of this 5 years ago?)

I came home, taped off the area, sanded it down and sprayed to my little heart’s content! It only took five layers to cover the entire word.

Now, I’m figuring at this point, if you’ve read this story so far…

a.) You’ve probably forgotten the title of this story (Sinless)

OR…

b.) You remember the title of this story (sinless) and are wondering where I’m heading with this…

Am I right????

The word keyed in to the side of my van was “SINNER”.

I am now “SINLESS” at last!

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