The Miracle Worker

My former boss’ wife is a year older than me and was recently diagnosed with glaucoma. I often looked at her to determine where I may be in the coming year. I was petrified of getting glaucoma next year so I figured I’d better nip the disease in the bud and get my eyes examined now.

Thankfully, my prescription hadn’t changed noticeably but I asked the optometrist for a new prescription anyway so I could get new glasses.

Off to the optician to find that PERFECT pair of glasses.

At first I wanted a male optician to help me again, just like I had for my last purchase. I naively thought that I’d be given the BEST perspective and would leave looking better than ever. Then I remembered my last glasses purchase. As I recall, I listened as the male optician convinced me how great this new frame looked and I left looking just like another clone of myself; the same style frame, different color. I now wonder if his commission had ANYthing to do with his opinion?

This time I picked an attractive female optician to help me out. She was just a few years older than me, not frumpy at all and was dressed in a well tailored jacket and skirt. She was wearing a beautiful contemporary glasses frame. She couldn’t possibly steer me in the wrong direction; she had taste.

As you can imagine, I’m not frumpy looking either, I’ve got taste and although my frame (the glasses folks!) could definitely use improvement, I was eager to change styles.

Remember that television commercial of years gone by, advertising “Underalls” pantyhose? In it, the girl was displayed, swaying her hips from side to side as she walked away from the camera in a sleek pair of slacks. She then bent forward, turned her upper torso around to face the camera, and remarked ever so flirtatiously that when wearing Underalls, she looked like she “wasn’t wearing nothing” (under her slacks, that is!). Now if the marketers can deliver that kind of outcome with pantyhose, surely they can make a similar ad campaign about ordinary glasses. I had high hopes!

This optician was no miracle worker, but she came close. She got her bonus commission by selling me one of the most expensive name brand frames in the place and I left as one very satisfied customer!

Do I look like I’m wearing glasses? You betcha! But thanks to my new featherlite lenses, I FEEL like I’m not wearing nothing!